Editor’s Note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity. Content warning: discussion about sexual assault and suicide.
We spoke with two of our Girl Activist Fellows about sex education, the spread of misinformation in their communities, and what changes they want to see. Sydney, 17, who lives in a conservative rural town in Massachusetts, U.S., pointed out that abstinence-only programs cause harm. Faith Boke, 21, from Kuria, Kenya, shared how her community faces shame and misinformation about menstruation and reproductive health. They talked about the need for thorough and inclusive sex education to clear up myths and reduce the stigma around reproductive health.
Keep reading to learn about their ideas for better education and more inclusive policies.
She’s the First: Tell us a little bit about yourselves, your communities, and the vibe there about talking about sex and reproductive health.
Sydney: I live in a rural town in the middle of Central Massachusetts, U.S., which, for those who aren't familiar with the politics of Massachusetts: Central Massachusetts is by far the most conservative region. For sex ed, our school board does not allow us to be taught anything other than abstinence. And like, abortion and stuff just aren't things people talk about and no one talks about preventative care and going to a gynecologist.
Boke: I'm Boke, and I come from Kenya. In Kenya, we have 47 tribes and within our counties, our regions—the boundaries are tribal. So my community, Kuria is really marginalized. We live at the border, close to Tanzania, and so that is like, it is a place that is so removed from—do I say civilization? Like we are very far away, and right now, I'm in the capital for my education and exposure. I like the exposure, because now I can compare my community from where I come from and how the capital is way developed and everything that's going on over here.
I'd say that my community is lively. In Kenya, basically there is a lot of energy. And if someone would ask me what color I'd say my country is. I'd say yellow. You know how yellow is like, so bright and all. But when it comes to matters of sex and reproductive health, there is where we step on that brick. A lot of stuff is hushed. Things are murmured. Shame is associated with that topic, like discussing matters reproductive health and sex. People think it is inappropriate to discuss such matters openly, and so there’s a lot of silence, a lot of confusion and misinformation everywhere.
“Shame is associated with discussing matters reproductive health and sex. People think it is inappropriate to discuss such matters openly, and so there’s a lot of silence, a lot of confusion and misinformation everywhere. ”
She's the First: Thank you both. Boke, that's interesting that you are seeing that contrast between the capital and your community. And are you seeing a difference between Nairobi and Kuria in conversations about specifically about reproductive health—or are you saying that in Kenya in general, people are more reserved about speaking about sex and reproductive health?
Boke: So with me being in the capital, people are like, so vocal over here. People are speaking out. You know, I really don't understand why. I don't know if it's like: a lot of cultures together, so we forgo the culture and start looking at ourselves as people, generally—humans. But there's a difference—people over here the capital are, like, so vocal about it. People are unashamed and like, at home where conversations are hushed, people are scared to talk about it. Yeah, there's a difference.
She's the First: Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. That’s common in a lot of countries, that in bigger cities, sometimes there's maybe there's just more people together, so there's more ideas, so there's maybe more opportunities for people to get together and be active and speak out.
For both of you: what are some examples of misinformation—if you have had any that you've been taught or told about reproductive health growing up—and when and how did you learn that this information was false?
Sydney: For me, I learned that most of the information that I'd learned about reproductive health and sex was false when I read a book, Vagina Obscura, by Rachel Gross. She pretty much decided that since there wasn't enough literature about sex and reproduction from a woman's standpoint, and how exactly the vagina works, so she researched and wrote this book to figure out and explain to us what it is. It was a very fascinating read for me, because I learned that a lot of the misinformation wasn't told out of malice; there’s been a lack of research about the female body.
But for me, there was also a lot missing from my sex education. For example, we didn't cover intersex identities that was not approved by the school board. There was no LGBTQ sex education because the school board didn't approve it. There was no hetero sex education outside of what we learned in freshman year biology. When we made our freshman year biology projects on the process of reproduction and genes, we had to use dragons as opposed to people, because a person would violate the school board's abstinence policy.
“When we made our freshman year biology projects on the process of reproduction and genes, we had to use dragons as opposed to people, because a person would violate the school board’s abstinence policy. ”
I am known as one of the most, if not the most, liberal people in my school, and there are a lot of conservatives there. What the parents tend to do is, they're like, “well, we don't want to expose our kid to this,” which is fine, you don't want your kid to read 50 Shades of Gray. But there is a difference between reading 50 Shades of Gray and having accurate knowledge on what consent is, how bodies work.
And so a lot of it is just being stuck in the past and in this culture of well, “if we don't talk about it, it doesn't happen.” And that happens a lot with kids at my school who have been raped. It's happened several times, and every time it's an open secret that it happened—because my school has 350 kids in it, so it's not like you can keep things secret. So someone is raped, everyone knows and no one reports it. No one does anything. People tend to pretty much immediately be like, "Well, are we sure it was actually rape?" And no one teaches us like none of the teachers intervene. No one says, "Hey, this isn't right."
She's the First: I’m sorry that that’s happening. That sounds like a very toxic environment to try to learn in. Teaching and reinforcing the importance of affirmative consent should be the cornerstone of all comprehensive sex education.
Boke, do you have examples of misinformation that you've been taught or told in your community about reproductive health and when and how did you learn that that information was false and not true?
Boke: Okay, so in my experience from a traditional community setting, there is always this misconception that teaching young people about sex will make them more likely to engage in sexual activity. So with that in mind, people tend to avoid any conversation about sexual, reproductive health. So now, when the adults are not there to give this information to the young ones, people tend to seek it out. "Okay, I'm thirsty for knowledge. There's something happening with my body," or "I don't know what is happening. I have no way to know what is happening because the elders in the society are not willing to give me this information." So there is a lot of misinformation going on. There is a lot of shame surrounding menstruation: that menstruation is dirty, menstruation is impure, and this is negatively affecting girls here. So people think that, "Okay, so now this is my menstruating week, and I'm in this impure state. I need to be secluded. Miss school. Don't be around people." I mean, a lot of stuff is going to stand in the way of your life just because of this thought of, "Oh, I'm impure." All that shame surrounding menstruation.
We've had demonstrations as a country to change the political regime, leadership, governance and all. And so, people are awakening. Our course books in school have to get approved by the Kenya Institute of Curriculum Development before any core textbook material can be used in instruction in schools. And so there's a Form 3 textbook that is the core reading material for Biology. Okay, so Form 3 is, I guess, Junior, Year in high school for your curriculum, Sydney. The book teaches about ways to prevent HIV. And the book—that had been approved by the government, mind you—had a point stating that girls should dress modestly and behave properly to avoid provoking or attempting other persons to sexual arousal. So now that has brought a lot of debate in the country because if this is what students are being taught in school, and this is a core textbook, that is basically victim blaming—because the book goes ahead to say that many rape cases are due to such provocations—you know, that the girl was not well dressed, and that girls should avoid being alone with persons of the opposite sex. The book went ahead to victim blame, and it just got people so mad that this is a book that has been approved by the government for instruction. A lot of misinformation is being presented to everybody. Yeah, that's really spiked a lot of conversation around the country.
She's the First: How do you think the stigma would change in your community if suddenly schools started teaching comprehensive and inclusive sex education?
Boke: I believe comprehensive and inclusive sex education could significantly reduce stigma in my community, normalizing these conversations about reproductive health. When young people receive accurate information, then they are empowered to make informed decisions, and challenge all this misinformation that is being is being spread out there. So if comprehensive education is introduced in schools, then you grow up with this information. You get to understand and respect individual rights, creating a culture where we value each other. Comprehensive sex education would remove the silence and the fear. Yeah, that would do so much good in my community.
“If comprehensive education is introduced in schools, then you grow up with this information. You get to understand and respect individual rights, creating a culture where we value each other. ”
She's the First: Thank you so much. Sydney, in your community, how do you think comprehensive and inclusive sex ed would would change some of the issues you discussed?
Sydney: I think having comprehensive, inclusive sex ed would really benefit the community, because there's a lot of homophobia and transphobia and all of those things in the community, and people who don't understand what is consent and what is not. And because they don't, it creates this culture of sort of "boys will be boys and girls will be victims."
“ I think having comprehensive, inclusive sex ed would really benefit the community... (without it) it creates this culture of sort of “boys will be boys and girls will be victims.””
She's the First: Yes, definitely. And that sounds similar to the textbook that Boke was talking about. You two are from two very different geographic areas, but listening to the two of you, there are a lot of similar themes. In both communities, your schools are not teaching consent or actively victim blaming. You're both coming from communities where people don't really want to talk about sex. They don't talk about how girls' bodies work. They don't want to talk about when men act badly. What themes and ideas do you see overlapping here, and what do you think that says about the nature of patriarchal systems?
Sydney: Yeah, what I'm seeing, at least in the core of this is that at the end of the day: no one benefits from not knowing how bodies work. No one benefits from not knowing how someone gets hurt. No one benefits from this lack of knowledge that exists because it makes predominantly cisgender, heterosexual, rich white men uncomfortable. And so that creates a culture now where girls feel shame, where girls are not allowed to essentially be themselves, because you have to fit into some mold within a patriarchal culture. And I think that's what I see connecting the two.
“No one benefits from not knowing how bodies work. No one benefits from not knowing how someone gets hurt... And so that creates a culture now where girls feel shame, where girls are not allowed to essentially be themselves, because you have to fit into some mold within a patriarchal culture.”
She's the First: Yeah. Boke, what do you think?
Boke: Okay, so I see, a lot of similarity, you know, the misinformation, the stigma, the shame, and this patriarchal system usually seeks to exact control over even women's bodies. Like you get these debates even in Parliament about matters: reproductive rights, contraception and such, and it's not even the women carrying out the issues. So you're like, “Okay, how are you talking about these matters like abortion and you're not even a woman”—as in, you know, the slogan of "nothing for us, without us." And then the patriarchy is like so ignoring that, and this is creating barriers and limiting women's choices.
She's the First: That's a big issue. How do you think having more women in decision-making places, having more women included in decision-making, in leadership roles, would change some of that?
Boke: With more women in decision-making spaces—we better understand ourselves. We better understand our needs. And I believe that all of the decisions that will be made for women by women are so on point, so catering on all that is needed.
Sydney: Yeah, I agree. I mean, a lot of women specifically with abortion, who say that they're pro-life, mean it in the sense that they would not abort, but it's not their job to decide what someone else does with their body. So I think we would just have a lot more equity in that realm, and a lot less of like the government tracking your period app and getting prosecuted for traveling across state lines to get an abortion or to give one.
And so I think having women in charge, and women and girls making decisions means that you're able to say, “this isn't a choice I would make, but if it's the choice you want, then you're able to,” more so than men who have been conditioned to essentially get whatever they want from society. Like they just they do. If a man wants something, he does it.
But it's like, when male politicians say, "it is my business what you do with your body," and they feel like they deserve that right to be like, "Oh, I think you should have an abortion or you shouldn't be allowed to have one," that is this sense of superiority that they have, like "I deserve to know."
And so I also think having women who are mothers more involved in being political leaders would mean we would have better access to better education, better programs for homeless youth, better foster care, better IVF programs, better childcare options, better maternity leave, better paternity leave. These are all things that I think most of the parents I've spoken to who are women have talked about wanting. And so to me, I think that a world where there are more women and girls in positions of power means that it's a world where women are free to do what they want with their bodies without needing the government's approval.
“I think that a world where there are more women and girls in positions of power means that it’s a world where women are free to do what they want with their bodies without needing the government’s approval.”
She's the First: Thank you both, we totally agree—more women and girls involved in leadership at all levels of power would create a healthier world for everyone.
Sexual and reproductive health and rights are a major force behind why you both wanted to become Girl Activist Fellows, right? Do you think you could or would use any of the skills you've learned so far in the program to address this issue in your communities?
Sydney: One of the main reasons I actually applied to be a fellow was because my godmother passed of ovarian cancer in February 2022. It was the second time she had had it. She had stage three.
I was very close with her. She gave me my love of chocolate and politics and books. One of the main reasons I applied to be a She’s the First Girl Activist Fellow was because I really wanted to talk about how much we need to give more care and more research and more funding to the health issues that primarily women and AFAB people face. I've really, really wanted to do that in memory of her, because she was 53. She had three kids. She was a family lawyer. She deserved better, and you can't diagnose ovarian cancer until it is stage three. That is when treatments will notice it, unless you get an ultrasound for some other reason and they see you have a tumor. There are not options for treatment. And so I felt very strongly that I wanted to try and make sure no one else would have to deal with that.
She's the First: Thank you for sharing that. That's really tough. I'm sorry that that happened.
Sydney: Thank you. When I learned about the Girl Activist Fellowship, I thought, “well, this is really interesting, and I could use this to help spread awareness of women's and AFAB issues when it comes to reproduction and sexual health, in honor of my godmother,” and so that was probably the biggest reason that I applied, and I think we're doing that with my group. Our final project is a zine for girls about menstrual health. We're going to devote a couple of pages to "This is Not Normal, See a Doctor" talking about the signs of ovarian cancer. And so that makes it just really impactful for me, and I think that the skills that I've learned in teamwork across continents and time zones have been very beneficial in doing this project and in future activism roles.
She's the First: Awesome. Thank you. We're so excited about this project y'all are working on. Can't wait to see it! And Boke, what do you think?
Boke: Okay, so absolutely it's actually one of the major reasons I wanted to become a Girl Activist Fellow. Women, we are are givers of life. So it's disheartening to be in a community where we women lack information—essential information about ourselves. And this is just holding young women back in so many ways. When you don't know about your reproductive health rights, you're not informed in making decisions. So in my community, a teenager—that is 18 and below—you cannot go to a gynecologist or even seek reproductive health services in any hospital without a parent. And in my conservative community, they are traditional parents who do not recommend their children knowing about this. Sex, sexual identity and sexuality—when you're still young, parents say, "these are matters of married women, and when you're married, when you live in his house is when you should know these terms because now you're going to start your own family." Like sex equals family, nothing else about it.
“Women, we are are givers of life. So it’s disheartening to be in a community where we women lack information—essential information about ourselves. And this is just holding young women back in so many ways. When you don’t know about your reproductive health rights, you’re not informed in making decisions. ”
So this challenge of misinformation, this challenge of, you know, just keeping silence about it, is one of the reasons I really wanted to do this program, and I'm glad that my team, we are dealing with this issue of menstrual equity and menstrual education, so I really hope that our project will be of huge impact to my community.
She's the First: We think it’s going to be a powerful project. Do you have any advice for girls who want to take action on this issue in their own communities?
Sydney: For me, I think my advice would be: honestly it's gonna be hard, like, if I'm speaking to a girl in my own community, “you're going to get a lot of weird looks, and you're going to have people being like, ‘what on earth.’” But I think it's worth it to be doing your best to spread this information and to not let the opinions of society saying that, "Oh well, you shouldn't talk about this" or "oh well, you should not be doing that. And please, God, do not start discussing politics in your history class." These are things that you should talk about, you should learn about, and there are parts of history that we just aren't taught in school. And so to a girl, I would say my best advice is to read a bunch of stuff from a bunch of different perspectives—or watch if reading is not your thing or whatever—because history has been historically written by the cisgender, heterosexual, rich white men, and their history is not the history that exists for most other people.
Boke: Okay, I 100% agree with Sydney. I'd say knowledge is power, like just arm yourself with as much accurate information as you can while pushing your mission and agenda, because you're going to face a lot of opposition out here, and if you're not well with your facts, you're going to feel disheartened, and you'd start questioning yourself, like, "Am I really doing the right thing?" Just arm yourself with your knowledge, with your information. Share it out there. And yeah, knowledge is power.
She's the First: If you were each speaking to a leader in your community right now about sexual and reproductive health and rights, what would you want them to prioritize for your community in the next year?
Sydney: The town that I live in is having a lot of town elections this year. I would say: filling the school board with people who want to inform real kids with real knowledge. People who want to arm kids with knowledge about their bodies and about what is okay and what isn't. And they're willing to take a long, hard look at certain curriculums and implement certain programs to do that.
And then I would say to increase funding for libraries and to encourage more kids to be in libraries and to use them for what they are intended, which is as places of knowledge. A library—despite all of the controversy that's been happening around them, like the college in Florida that threw out an entire gender studies curriculum into dumpsters. Having accurate access to information about whatever you want to know is why libraries exist, and so strengthening their rights and their protections against book bans would help spread more accurate information, and I think that's the biggest thing.
“Fill the school board with people who want to inform real kids with real knowledge. People who want to arm kids with knowledge about their bodies and about what is okay and what isn’t. And they’re willing to take a long, hard look at certain curriculums and implement certain programs to do that. ”
Boke: By first prioritizing comprehensive sexual and reproductive health education in schools—training teachers to deliver accurate and even respectful—emphasis on respectful, you know, being respectful while delivering this information. There is a case of a minor who committed suicide after being bullied by a teacher. You know, her periods just started while she was in school, and it was the first time. She didn't know what was happening, got bullied, laughed at, and then—mind you, a female teacher is the one even shaming you, saying, "Why are you parading yourself bleeding here in school?" And so the kid went home, and you know, the shame of all that, committed suicide. So training teachers to be more respectful and delivering accurate information will be number one.
And another will be having our health care facilities being youth-friendly. You might go to a facility, you know, just alone, a teenager, people are judging you, like, "How are you sexually active right now? You're not married, you're an immoral girl," and such. So having these health facility be youth-friendly and accessible to enable people to acquire these services stigma free, would be really great.
She's the First: That's so important. The girl’s story is heartbreaking, and there is no space for menstrual shame in the classroom, especially from a teacher.
Is there anything else that either of you would like to share, that you want to make sure people know about you, about your communities, or about sexual and reproductive health and rights?
Boke: Sexual reproductive health rights are really not to be granted or denied by governments however they wish; they are human rights, and everybody is entitled to them.
“Sexual reproductive health rights are really not to be granted or denied by governments however they wish; they are human rights, and everybody is entitled to them.”
She's the First: Yes, we totally agree. And that's a great way to close our conversation. Thank you both so much for your time.
Faith Boke, 21, is from Kuria, Kenya. As a She’s the First Girl Activist Fellow, she hopes to raise awareness about gender equality issues, advocate for girls' education, and empower young girls to become leaders in their communities. She likes reading and writing poetry.
Sydney, 17, lives in Massachusetts, USA. As a She’s the First Girl Activist Fellow, she hopes to spread awareness of menstrual health and medical misogyny. She likes to read, write, and draw.