Author: Sania Hammad, She’s the First Youth Ambassador
I remember the exact moment I learned the definition of the word “Islamophobia.” It was August 6th, 2012, about two weeks before I started second grade. At seven years old, my world was mostly comprised of my house, my school, and my mosque. It was my own tiny, happy world where nothing went wrong. My bedroom was small, and I shared it with my twin sister, making my space even smaller. The room was covered in our favorite things, butterflies, flowers, and lots and lots of pink. We were generally happy children, we went to school, went on trips, played with our dog, Bentley. Everything changed on that hot, end-of-summer day in Kansas. I grew up ignorant to the injustices that plague our world. I was isolated to my small Midwest town in my small private school. I grew up thinking I was no different from my Christian friends. Then one morning, I woke up to the news that our musjid had been burnt to the ground by an “Islamophobe.”
“I grew up thinking I was no different from my Christian friends. Then one morning, I woke up to the news that our musjid had been burnt to the ground by an “Islamophobe.””
I never wanted to know his name. Giving him a name would be admitting that he was real, and second-grade me would rather have lived in denial. In preparation for this article, I finally looked him up. A CNN article told me his name is Jedediah Stout. After two attempts on my mosque, he was finally successful in destroying it. He then went on to try and do the same to a Planned Parenthood but was thankfully unsuccessful in that endeavor and was eventually caught. 63 months. According to the US Department of Justice’s website, he would spend 63 months in prison, meaning he now roams free. A fact that I cannot help but be terrified of.
August 6th was the day my eyes opened for the first time. All of the events I had been pushing aside in my brain as nothing I should be worrying about, suddenly became clear. The holes in our sign were not there as decoration, they were made from bullets. Those days that we could not go to the mosque were not because my parents wanted to spend that day at home, it was because there had been a bomb threat.
“Ramadan used to be my favorite time of the year. That was until I downloaded social media and became more aware of the world around me. Ramadan is supposed to be a peaceful time of self-reflection, but every time I open my phone, it is flooded with news of Islamophobic attacks. ”
I am a white-passing, non-hijabi Muslim. The jokes and criticism I have faced have come from people who were directly told I was Muslim. If you saw me on the street, your first thought would not be that I was Muslim. And yet, as I get ready to move to New York City for college, I am terrified of all the Jedediah Stouts I may face there.
Ramadan used to be my favorite time of the year. That was until I downloaded social media and became more aware of the world around me. Ramadan is supposed to be a peaceful time of self-reflection, but every time I open my phone, it is flooded with news of Islamophobic attacks.
“Muslim men praying together in Missouri prison were doused with pepper spray and beaten by prison guards”
“Suspect charged with attempted murder after setting elderly Muslim man on fire outside Mosque.”
“One suspect arrested after mosque was vandalized in Philadelphia, PA.”
How am I supposed to spiritually reflect and grow, help those in need, and spend time with my loved ones as I am told I should during this month, when I am constantly looking behind my shoulder, memorizing exits in case someone were to break through our armed police guards and get into our iftar party?
To put it simply, being a Muslim in America, no matter how advanced and accepting people will claim the country is, is hard. And it will continue to be hard until we rid our country of this dangerous Anti-Muslim rhetoric.
Sania Hammad, 18, is a Pakistani-American senior in high school. Sania has always been passionate about girls’ rights, so joining She’s the First as a Youth Ambassador was a very easy decision for her. Having come from two very distinct cultures, she has witnessed how sexism affects women in different areas of the world. Advocating for girls’ rights has become a fierce passion of hers. She also enjoys writing and reading, to which she hopes she can help create more access for girls everywhere.