Editor’s Note: We strive to serve girls and partners with an anti-oppressive and girl-centered approach. Over the years, we’ve adapted our fundraising methods. In 2017, we moved away from our traditional scholarship (or "sponsorship") model, in which donors were matched 1:1 with a girl they supported.* We included partners’ and girls' voices every step of this transition.
We're honored to share the perspective of two girl activists here on Girl Talk about their experiences being "sponsored."
*Read more about our decision to change our funding model in this article by our co-founders in the Stanford Social Innovation Review.
Encourage Girls to Shine
Author: Wuday Jaiteh, She’s the First Girls Advisory Council Member and a mentor at our partner Starfish International
Every girl has the right to education, but not every girl has the privilege to be educated. “Sponsoring” these girls is a noble cause, but how do we invest in them? Every human being is born noble, and for me, that's a birthright no matter the circumstances you find yourself in.
When you invest in a girl, you should keep in mind that you're not just investing in a poor girl or a charity case, but that she could be someone great if you help her see that.
Being less fortunate doesn't mean that you're not good enough or you cannot be great. As the Starfish pledge says, "I am not the product of my circumstances." What you're born into sometimes is not what you would choose for yourself, and although you cannot control that, you can strive to change it and make it how you want it.
When you invest in a girl, don't just be interested in the pictures and how your money or resource is being used, but consider the girl's well-being, including her emotional, mental, psychological, and physical well-being. You need to encourage her to work hard and earn that scholarship for herself; that way, she feels that she is also investing in her own growth, and she works even harder.
I've seen people who are “sponsored,” and they don't even know who their “sponsor” is; all they do is write letters, take pictures and send a lot of thank-yous. And for me, I believe that [students] have the right to know who is investing in them and what's making that person invest in them.
Maybe the person is investing in them because they felt sorry for them, or they thought that the girls would not do anything for themselves without them. And these stereotypes continue to put girls in a certain box that they find hard to break out of. These girls have strengths; they have things that they are good at that you can focus on developing, rather than just feeling like you're investing in a charity case or poor girl.
When I joined the Starfish program, I was one of the students under scholarship. I also had the same mindset that "some rich person is about to rescue me from my struggles or somebody better than me is about to change my life," but later I realized that nobody is better or worse than me. I just don't have some things they have, and they also don't have certain things I have.
I've come to realize that nobody should make me feel inferior to them just because they are “sponsoring” me. I now see “sponsorship” as a form of contract, and both parties have to give consideration. When you invest in me, I should also make sure to work hard and meet your expectations. Girls should help themselves start up their own small businesses and get their basic needs for themselves, work on their spiritual qualities, have a schedule for school to improve on their grades, work on their talent and then shine. If you “sponsor” a girl and do it the right way, these are some of the things she can achieve, and there's no limit to all the great things she can do and be. I've seen living examples of this.
Don't make girls feel like they are under an obligation to you; they don't owe you anything. Encourage them and allow them to shine.
About Wuday: Wuday, 19, is a member of our Girls Advisory Council and a mentor at our partner organization Starfish International in The Gambia. She’s currently studying law at the University of The Gambia. She chose to study law because of her passion for advocacy, especially for women and girls.
On Waiting for a Response
Author: Anonymous
In my country, hospitability is considered an honorable matter, and we have a culture of respecting and giving love to our guests. When we think about our guests, we become really excited and eager to meet and serve them. We will shower them with all the love and offer whatever we have.
Back in school, we used to meet so many foreign guests (volunteers). So, you can imagine now how excited we were when we got to see foreigners and were told to write a letter. I think I got to know about She’s the First when I was in grade 7. There were many girls who were “sponsored” by She’s the First. I felt lucky to be “sponsored” by such an amazing organization that was always there to support girls like us, and for which I am always grateful.
So, in school, we were asked to write letters to our “sponsor.” I am talking about all the girls because almost every girl was told to write letters. When we were first told to write letters, we felt very special and excited. So, we used to go to our homes after school, forgetting all work and snacks because of our excitement.
I can’t explain it here, but that emotion of writing for some unknown friends from a different country and thanking them and telling them how we were and everything with a pure heart. It felt awesome knowing that our friends from far away would get to read our messages, so we put our hundred percent effort into it. We didn’t care about grammar, but we tried our best to show them our love through those letters.
But one thing which strikes me—and for many girls, this is true— is that we didn't hear back from them. When some other students used to get letters from their friend, I used to think maybe the next letter will be mine from my “sponsor.” If we could hear from all “sponsors” back then, it would be awesome. I am not complaining here, I am always grateful and will be, but it would be perfect if we had gotten our reply.
Later we thought maybe it was how it was supposed to be. But still we kept looking for the reply to those letters.
This author has chosen to remain anonymous.