By Rachel Straining

My sophomore year of high school was when things really started to feel off. It was as if I got the stomach flu, but, instead of just lasting a few days before eventually going away, it never stopped. The pain would subside here and there, for a day or two maybe, but its recurrence made it clear that it wasn’t going anywhere. 

I spent the rest of that year bedridden and on homebound instruction because I was too sick to make it to school, in and out of doctor’s appointments, with my mom by my side as we fought for answers as to what was going on. Every new doctor and every new blood test would say that there was nothing wrong. That I “had an oversensitivity to pain.” That it was “just all in my head.” But my mom, hand in mine, never stopped believing me and believing that my pain was real.  

My mom has her PhD in clinical psychology, which means she is a researcher at heart. A fact finder. “A get to the root of things” kind of person. Our family just would not accept that there wasn’t a significant root cause as this problem persisted over two years. It wasn’t always easy, because I felt so miserable and so invalidated by certain members of the medical community. My mom, and my family, kept me going even when it was really, really hard. They kept me going until we found the right answer and they continue to keep me going today, over 10 years after my diagnosis. 

It was because of my mom and her unwavering persistence that I finally received a chronic illness diagnosis that made it all make sense. Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). Crohn’s disease to be exact. The universe works in mysterious ways. Since my mom’s experience with me in trying to find an underlying answer to my chronic health issues, many people with chronic health issues have found their way to my mom as clients. She now unwaveringly guides them to feel empowered and find their own answers, too. 

There are currently more than 10 million people worldwide living with inflammatory bowel disease - used to describe disorders that cause chronic inflammation of your gastrointestinal (GI) tract. The two most common forms of IBD are Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis, and the struggle behind my IBD diagnosis story is unfortunately all too common. 

In fact, recent studies reveal that women actually wait longer for diagnosis and treatment of IBD, despite presenting earlier with red-flag symptoms up to a year in advance of their diagnosis - further highlighting this very real and very serious gap in care. 

As my mom says,

“As women, we’ve long had ineffective narratives in our heads that we’re supposed to take what doctors say and move along without asking further questions - that asking those questions would make us seem as though we’re nagging or imposing. However, changing that narrative is what changed the course of care for us. Asking questions is a part, a huge part, of getting complete medical care. When you’re asking those extra questions, you’re not being difficult - you’re advocating for yourself.

As a parent, teach your daughter—and yourself—to listen to that intuition. Listen to that small, or large, voice in your head that says something’s not right. Don’t shut it down. I think part of it was my training as a psychologist to trust people’s experiences as they’re being told. This is the person’s truth and it needs to be validated. Getting Rachel help was always guided by her story.” 

I know so many aren’t as lucky as me to have a fiercely dedicated female figure by their side, guiding them through the trenches of whatever battle it is that they may be facing. And that is exactly why we share our story. To raise awareness and to help others. Because if we can help just one person not feel as lost and scared as we once did, that pain can become power. Our story can be someone’s survival guide.

In the fall, Rachel and Pam are partnering with She’s the First to create a discussion guide for health advocacy and mental wellness for girls in the STF Chapters program. The STF Chapters program teaches girls to use their voices to advocate for themselves and others in their homes, schools, and communities.

Learning how to raise your voice and trust yourself is a major step towards choosing your own future, and demanding to be respected and heard. 83% of girls in the STF Chapters program report being confident in the ability to advocate for themselves and others.

Trusting girls and honoring their truths is an act that doesn’t take the day off. Will you make a commitment to give $1 a day to amplify girls’ voices every day?

Monthly donations are the most sustainable way to give. These dollars allow our programs team to make big plans with big impact for girls all over the world. Our current plan? To reach 170,000 girls this year, and we need your help.

When given the resources to lead, girls can reach incredible milestones. From building girls’ confidence as advocates, to teaching them about their rights, your dollars will help girls change the world.

Dr. Pam Straining is a Clinical Psychologist who has been working with children, adolescents, adults and families for over 25 years.  Her office is in Rockland County and she sees clients primarily from New York and New Jersey.

Dr. Pam is primarily a Cognitive Behavioral Psychologist, is specially trained in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), and works with clients with a variety of mental health issues. Her approach is a holistic one with the goal of creating a wellness plan that addresses nutrition, sleep, exercise, therapy, and interpersonal relationships, as well as short- and long-term goals.

Dr. Pam developed and directed the Adolescent Outpatient DBT Program at Weill Cornell Medical Center in White Plains, NY before moving solely to private practice after the birth of her two children.  Her children are now 25 and 26 and launching their own entrepreneurial businesses. 

As a mom to a daughter with Crohn’s Disease, Dr. Pam uses her experiences of her daughter and family being invalidated by the medical community. She helps her clients going through similar experiences find a team of helpful medical professionals aligned in finding the root cause of physical illness and mental health suffering. 

Rachel is an award-winning health advocate who was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2014. What started out as a way to connect with people on social media to not feel alone in her own health journey has now turned into her full-time job as “The No Gluten Girl”- where she shares her personal experiences with chronic illness, reimagined gluten free recipes, and everything in between.

To say Rachel’s journey hasn’t been easy would be an understatement. To say it has been life-changing would be entirely true. It’s shown her the strength that lies within herself and the importance of having a community and a support network to lean on. It’s shown her that the lows can be low but they’ll sure as heck make you appreciate the highs. It’s taught her how to listen to her body, fight for it, and put it first. While we each may be on our own journeys, shedding light on and talking about the reality of what we’re going through can help us navigate life together.